I took a stroll along the sea front this morning , it was rather chilly with a brisk North Easterly wind - But never the less invigorating. As i walked along I could here some frantic female yelling at her two terrified toddlers. "You little f-----g little b---------d! I told you not to get sand in your new shoes - do you think money grows on trees - wait till I get you home."
As I moved a little closer I could see that she had the little boy pinned against the wall by his throat and his little sister was crying her eyes out in the pushchair. All three were obviously unkempt and freezing cold.
What should I do? I thought. Should I walk on by - pretend I didn't see or hear anything? No! I'm afraid not. I'm not that kind of person - I help clients every day in my practice that have suffered most of their lives from this kind of abuse. However I also knew that if I walked straight up to this lady telling her she should not be dealing with her children in this way, she would probably tell me to mind my own business. With a few choice expletives. Now I'm no saint and I don't make a habit of sticking my nose into other peoples business - But I couldn't just walk away.
I walked into the shelter on the promenade where they were and took a seat on the bench. She immediatley let go of the little boy and lifted him into the double buggy with the little girl. I looked at her sad face and said. "There bloody hard work sometimes aren't they?" nodding towards the two kids in the buggy. "What the f--- has it got to do wi you - nozy git," she snorted. "Well - I'm just one of those people who likes to help when ever I can," I said smiling. "I'm a therapist - Well actually an EFT practitioner." (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
"Oh! That's all I bloody need," she shouted - shaking her head wildly - "A bloogy do gooder. Look mate - I've bin through more foster homes than you can count. I've been to counsellors, psychiatrists, doctors, therapists and bloody which doctors - It's all bollocks! The whole lot of you are so far up your own arse - you can't see the wood for the trees and now I'm stuck with these two little buggers. No home. No money and nowt to eat. So piss off." Her vicious outburst through me for a few seconds so I took a deep breath and said. "I'm sorry - I was going to walk on by but I heard you shouting and just wondered if I could help in any way." "Yeah," she said quietly. "You can help - give me fifty quid for a B&B and some food for my kids - that'll help." "Sorry! I don't do charity - but do you mind if I ask you two questions - just two and then I'll be on my way?" "Suppose so," she said.
"OK, number one. Do you want your kids to go through, what youv'e been through? Two. What would it be like for you to wake up one day with no anger, guilt or remorse?
Shelly (Name changed for anonimity) has been a client of mine now - for 3 months. She has a job, a flat and the warmest smile you can imagine. She didn't realise what she was putting her kids through and now spends time learning to read with them.
As I said I could so easily have chickened out and walked on by - But I tell
you this 'There is no greater feeling on this Earth than the feeling I get when
I've helped a fellow human being to improve their life!'
Speak soon
Nice one Barry - a dilemma as well for the vast majority of us - takes some courage to do what you did, but I wouldn't expect any less from one of the world's 'good guys'. :)
ReplyDeleteWell done Barry.
ReplyDeleteThat's one thing I don't understand how some people have an awful childhood and then treat their own children in the same way.
In my own case it made me more determind to bring my own children up very differently.